tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29095358352072051472024-03-13T23:37:50.546-07:00The Catholic MamaThank you for visiting! Please be sure to follow me on www.facebook.com/catholicmamablogShae O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02742929747644961842noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2909535835207205147.post-6923772818346821902015-08-06T14:49:00.000-07:002015-08-06T19:53:40.403-07:00Photograph Me Breastfeeding!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://scontent-dfw1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xtp1/t31.0-8/11850616_1044537985579562_543150704055144840_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://scontent-dfw1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xtp1/t31.0-8/11850616_1044537985579562_543150704055144840_o.jpg" width="640"></a></div>
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<i>Photo by Leilani Rogers</i> </div>
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There is no moment that makes me feel more beautiful, strong, and proud than the moment I am able to comfort and nourish my daughter--the human being I grew within my womb--with food I create from my own breasts. It is beautiful, both in its intrinsic bond between us and also the serene nature of this act in itself. It represents the incredible design of a mother's body, as well as the determination and persistence one requires to push onward with breastfeeding despite the many challenges breastfeeding mothers often face. So, why is it that when I breastfeed my child in front of others, their instinct is not to capture this miraculous moment in a frame but to avert their eyes and ignore my very presence in the room?</div>
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I have been pregnant and/or breastfeeding for pretty much the last five years of my life. I am currently breastfeeding. And I have begun to notice something. We do not have many pictures of me. There are tons of pictures of my daughters, my husband, grandparents, friends...yet my photographic presence seems to be missing lately. Perhaps it has to do with how often I am the one holding the camera, but I started paying attention to others as they took their photos. With all of the best intentions I'm sure, I would watch the camera/phone come out, the scanning of the room, and then the embarrassed flush of the cheeks and quickly turning away once they realized I was breastfeeding. Even those who were completely comfortable with me breastfeeding would sometimes say something along the lines of "Oh, I'll let you finish first" as though the act was fine as long as it wasn't captured on film.</div>
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<div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Now, I get it. Our society has thoroughly sexualized the female breast. However, I am not trying to turn anybody on when breastfeeding. News flash: breasts were created for feeding babies first and foremost. It's just science. So, I am not ashamed of my need to expose my breast for the purpose of feeding my children--in fact, I'm quite proud of it! I have <a href="http://thecatholicmama.blogspot.com/2014/04/the-power-of-boobs.html" target="_blank" style="text-decoration: none;">worked very hard to be able to successfully breastfeed</a>, like most breastfeeding mothers have experienced, and I am simply saying that I would appreciate it if people would stop viewing this accomplishment as some sort of embarrassing act that I should keep out of our picture frames and shutterfly books. </span></div>
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There is a professional photographer named </span><a href="http://www.photosbylei.com/" style="background-color: white; color: rgb(17, 85, 204);" target="_blank">Leilani Rogers</a><span style="background-color: white;"> in Austin, TX who photographs the subjects of births, newborns, and breastfeeding. She describes her profession as "a love for snapping the rare, magical moments that all families experience". I was so excited the day I found this amazing woman, who understood that breastfeeding was "rare" and "magical" and needed to be captured on film! She believed this so much that she founded the Public Breastfeeding Awareness Project (PBAP), which is a group of 75 photographers around the world who work to normalize breastfeeding in public through their beautiful photography of these moments. Leilani, as a child, was amazed at the ability to preserve moments in history for hundreds of years through the act of photography. </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I wonder how much of our history is lost forever because we continue to stigmatize the mothers in our communities who give of their very bodies to provide nourishment to future generations. </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Here is some of the incredible work of Leilani and other PBAP photographers:</span></div>
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PBAP is rare, however, in how most photographers (from anyone with an iPhone to those who get paid to do it) view breastfeeding and whether it is appropriate to capture the act on camera. For this reason, mothers have started resorting to their own ability to photograph by taking selfies of them breastfeeding--an act that has now been coined the #brelfie. Across social media, mothers have begun to show their beauty and pride as breastfeeding mothers by posting their #brelfie to be seen and shared. Oddly enough, in a society where selfies are the norm and many people post them daily, #brelfies get a lot of criticism for "seeking attention", "inappropriate content", and "lack of modesty". So, not only will no one else take my picture, but now I am not supposed to take it either?</div>
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Listen everyone, I am proud of my breastfeeding. I worked hard to get it right. I fight through sickness and pain and comfort to do it. I sacrifice to give my child nourishment and health. THAT is what you should see when you catch me breastfeeding near you. THAT is what you should think of me when you judge my breastfeeding near you. And THAT is why you should want to take my picture. Because I am a beautiful, proud, strong, and selfless mother who deserves recognition in history. Even if for no other reason than I gave of myself for my child, and that is a selfless act worthy of being noted. </div>
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By all means, if you are a stranger, ask my permission first to take a photograph (like you really should of any person you do not personally know). But don't be afraid to take the picture! Breastfeeding is worthy of the space on your phone, the frame on your wall, and the post on your newsfeed. I am worthy of all of those things too--not despite my breastfeeding, but because of it.</div>
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(Thank you to my sister Clarissa for taking this beautiful photo of me!)</div>
Shae O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02742929747644961842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2909535835207205147.post-59578325304642973552015-07-28T06:43:00.001-07:002015-07-28T06:43:26.842-07:00Dear Bugaboo, From a Fluffy Mama<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Dear Bugaboo,</span><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">You've been getting a lot of flack lately. Your latest ad of a stick thin model jogging around in a bikini while using your $800 stroller has caused some upset. Moms feel shamed, mocked, and just plain inadequate. I can't say I blame them (have you seen that model's stomach?). </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-fvzwYF-bekQ/VbeG_M27qGI/AAAAAAAAAqo/j_rqqxn9lYE/s640/blogger-image--1678492355.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-fvzwYF-bekQ/VbeG_M27qGI/AAAAAAAAAqo/j_rqqxn9lYE/s640/blogger-image--1678492355.jpg"></a></div>(Bugaboo ad)</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The truth is though, while your ad may seem absurd, it is meant for a different mother than I. I am the mother of four children under four, living on one income, choosing on a daily basis whether to go to the park or get the kitchen clean. I do not have the money for your stroller--or the personal trainer that I'm sure would have to come with it for me to begin looking like that model. In fact, the only stroller I've ever purchased was $25 at Target. (Do you know what a Target is, I wonder?)</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">But--I don't judge the mother who CAN buy your stroller. I don't judge the mother that is able and willing to hire a maid, nanny, and personal trainer to make it possible to attain that model's body. I don't fault any mother for having those kinds of funds and using them in a way that promotes self-love, a healthy lifestyle, and (God forbid) a little mommy pampering!</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I just know I will never be that mother. I will never look like that. (Though if I did, I would totally go everywhere in that bikini--grocery store, play dates, you name it!) However, I am ok with that truth. I have a word for my stomach, and it's not "tight", "six-pack", or "hard". </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It's "fluffy". </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I don't use that word to equal "fat". I have a beautiful body. I simply recognize that my stomach is softer after having four children, it is a touch wrinkly and resembles tiger stripes. And I have to admit--I love it! I love my body just as much as the mother who buys your stroller. </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-AzX3TdSRlyk/VbeAv-yhQMI/AAAAAAAAAqQ/9FFZpzuB_u0/s640/blogger-image-71753706.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-AzX3TdSRlyk/VbeAv-yhQMI/AAAAAAAAAqQ/9FFZpzuB_u0/s640/blogger-image-71753706.jpg"></font></a></div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">(My fluffy tummy)</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Perhaps the mothers who are offended by your ad have not yet learned to love their body. Maybe they are struggling to remember how beautiful they are in a world that believes we should be up and running once the baby hits the bassinet. It can be a difficult transition to go from "sexy single", to "glowing pregnant", to "your baby is sooooo cute!" (Note that last one forgets the mother all together.) When that transition happens, it is up to us to find our self-love and new understanding of beauty...and sometimes ads like yours feel like an attack on our insecurities. </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I am proud of the mother who jogs. I am just as proud of the mother who eats Oreos at 3am while nursing her 6 month old to a sound track of Netflix movies. (And the truth is, I fully believe I may have just described the same mother in those two sentences--depending on the day!) So, by all means, sell your couture strollers and glorify the fit-focused mother. I'll do my part on this end to glorify the fluffy, not-quite-as-able-to-afford-couture mother. And I'll pray for all of us, that we realize the beauty we hold in this new role and remember to love ourselves for who we are. </span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Sincerely,</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">A Fluffy Mama</span></div>Shae O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02742929747644961842noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2909535835207205147.post-67255792538375216992015-07-14T09:28:00.001-07:002015-07-14T09:28:17.027-07:00From "That Mom" to St. Albert the Great Catholic ChurchTO: <a href="http://www.saintalbert.org/" target="_blank">St. Albert the Great Catholic Church</a>, Austin TX<br />
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FROM: That Mom<br />
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Today I was <b>that mom</b>. I was <b>that mom</b> who walked into church with my hair in a frizzy ponytail and flip flops on my feet. I was <b>that mom</b> who snuck in <i>barely</i> on time, with four daughters under four in tow behind me. I was <b>that mom</b> who forgot to genuflect before entering the pew and whose children climbed into their seats and immediately began asking for snacks. I was <b>that mom</b> whose kids sounded like they were tearing your hymnals throughout the mass (though they didn't, I swear!) and kept trying to talk despite my pleading for whispers. I was <b>that mom</b> who had a hard time corralling my 18 month old who kept squealing and pointing at every thing she saw because I was busy nursing my 7 week old--without a cover or care. I was <b>that mom</b> that I've heard so many Catholics discuss in abstract:<br />
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"Why can't she dress with respect for God?"<br />
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"Why couldn't she just go into the Cry Room?"<br />
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"Snacks during mass? Really?"<b></b><br />
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You could have easily judged me. In truth, I was judging me already. But you didn't. Instead you chose to <b>love</b>. You chose to <b>love </b>by rushing to hold the door open for our little party of five as we entered. You chose to <b>love</b> by greeting me with sincere smiles and compliments for my daughters. You chose to <b>love</b> by distracting my 18 month old when she began to get fussy. You chose to <b>love</b> this stranger and her family, and for that I am so grateful.<br />
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What you couldn't have known is that I have been struggling with post partum depression, and I have felt lost and alone the last couple of months. I've been hiding from God, feeling unworthy and conflicted. Making the choice to go to mass this morning--by myself while trying to handle my four daughters--was not an easy one to make, but I was encouraged to seek God out by friends who knew what my faith means to me. I was almost certain that your congregation would see me as <b>that mom</b>, but instead I felt renewal in my faith as I spoke the prayer with tears in my eyes, "I ask blessed Mary, ever virgin, all the angels and saints, and <b>you my brothers and sisters to pray for me</b> to the Lord our God."<br />
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I had no doubt that you <i>were</i> praying for me and not picking me apart, that you were offering the love of God not the judgment of society, and that in your church--though I had never been there before--I had found acceptance not condemnation. You, St. Albert the Great Catholic Church, reminded me what it means to be a Catholic, to be part of the universal Church. It may not have seemed like much to you, but it meant the world to me. Thank you for reminding me of my place in our faith. Thank you for choosing to love.<br />
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God bless.Shae O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02742929747644961842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2909535835207205147.post-6446621910823826312015-01-22T12:30:00.001-08:002015-01-22T12:54:07.357-08:00Every Life is a Gift: Why I Don't March<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-9typYQUzSAk/VMFjbeYnN1I/AAAAAAAAAo4/x8Xn0rX2bhc/s640/blogger-image--952278216.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-9typYQUzSAk/VMFjbeYnN1I/AAAAAAAAAo4/x8Xn0rX2bhc/s640/blogger-image--952278216.jpg"></a></div><br></div>Today is the international March for Life Day. It is very well known among Catholics as the Day in which we stand up for those who cannot--the lives of millions of babies lost to abortion. January 22nd is the date that the infamous Roe vs. Wade decision was made, which made abortion legal in the United States. Even the Pope has spoken up on behalf of this day to show support for this demonstration of the appreciation of life.<br>
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en"><p>Every Life is a Gift. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/marchforlife?src=hash">#marchforlife</a></p>— Pope Francis (@Pontifex) <a href="https://twitter.com/Pontifex/status/558232682354597888">January 22, 2015</a></blockquote>
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So, I am sure at this point that my title is cause for some confusion. If I am indeed a Catholic (as my blog title suggests) and I support life (which my past posts regarding <a href="http://thecatholicmama.blogspot.com/2014/07/why-we-use-natural-family-planning.html" target="_blank">Natural Family Planning</a> and <a href="http://thecatholicmama.blogspot.com/2014/07/5-things-toddlers-do-that-lead-to.html" target="_blank">three children</a> suggest) then why wouldn't I march?<br>
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On this day, millions around the world think about and pray for the little lives lost through abortion. Millions of people talk about what the world missed out on by the taking of these lives, how we will never know the potential those lives held for our future, who they would have become and the worth they had. Everyone talks about the babies...What people don't talk about is the slightly smaller, yet no less important, group that is also thinking about these babies. The group made up of the incredible, strong, beautiful women who faced what they believed was an impossible decision. The group of women who had no one to confide in for fear of judgment and scorn, who believed choosing life for one child may mean an inability to care for the other three, who had no support or education or financial stability to encourage a different decision, who didn't have a choice when the child was made, who believed their child would face the same abuse they did, who chose life when they knew a pregnancy would have killed them. These women are out there today, watching the news and reading the social media articles. They are getting the message loud and clear: EVERY LIFE IS A GIFT.<br>
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But when is the last time someone told them that they are a gift, too?<br>
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I know...too many women who have gone through an abortion. Friends, loved ones, family members. They aren't murderers. They aren't evil. They are people who continue to act out of love every day toward the people in their lives, their children, their friends, even strangers. They are beautiful beings, and I am incredibly grateful for their existence. Yes, their existence resulted in another life being taken from this world. I also happen to know that their existence has resulted in lives remaining in this world, in lives being enhanced and appreciated and loved. They have made my life better, my world a better place, and it breaks my heart that movements like #marchforlife too often trivialize these women's lives or motives or souls....somehow these women become the enemy.<br>
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And why? Why do we find it so important to place the blame, mold the villain, and sharpen the stakes against these women? Is it not bad enough that they had to face such circumstances, such a choice, such judgment, that now they must also hear time and time again the condemnation of the very God that made them?<br>
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I cannot march. Every time I think about the marches, the protests, and the demonstrations, I think of the women I know and love and wonder if anyone has told them lately that they matter, that they have worth, that they are more than one moment and one choice. I cannot march. Instead, I pray. I pray for the lives taken through the act of abortion. I pray for the women who thought they had no choice. I pray for the women who continue to feel shame and have no support to help them overcome it. I pray for the women I know and love, that they know they are a gift. Because they are. They are an incredible gift. And perhaps the more we share that message, the more we can work toward changing an attitude that outcasts the broken. Because as broken as they may be to us, they are a priceless gift to God.<br>
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<i>**If you or someone you know has experienced an abortion, Rachel's Hope is an organization created to provide support and healing to those in need. Please feel free to visit http://www.rachelshope.org/ **</i><br>
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<br>Shae O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02742929747644961842noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2909535835207205147.post-65172073310171792672015-01-07T17:51:00.001-08:002015-01-08T09:48:58.705-08:00Je Suis Catholique. Je Suis Charlie.I took five years of French in school. I am embarrassed to say I didn't learn much, but grateful today to know this: <i>Je suis désolé. </i><br />
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My heart broke with sadness yesterday morning over news of the horrible tragedy that took place in Paris. No one deserves such an ending to life, and surely not those who spent their lives as advocates for freedom in this world. Not everyone may agree with their opinions or choices, but as an American I assumed we would all agree that mass murdering those who simply stood up for their freedom to speak is wrong in every way. </div>
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Sadly, it turns out this was not the case. A friend of mine posted an <a href="http://www.catholicleague.org/muslims-right-angry/" target="_blank">article</a> on his social media page that deeply disheartened me, both as an American and as a Catholic. I am deeply offended and ashamed to say that it was published on www.catholicleague.org. The Catholic League states that the organization is "m<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); text-align: justify;">otivated by the letter and the spirit of the First Amendment" and "the Catholic League works to safeguard both the religious freedom rights and the free speech rights of Catholics". I think it is an important and courageous fight to advocate for freedom of speech, especially if and when believing in that freedom means standing up for those you disagree with. However, according to this article, The Catholic League seems to only support freedom of speech they agree with. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); text-align: justify;">The author of this article, Bill Donohue, discussed the topics addressed in Charlie Hebdo and mentioned its "</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); text-align: justify;">disgusting record of going way beyond the mere lampooning of public figures". He then went on to discuss the death of Stephane </span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); text-align: justify;">Charbonnier, saying, "</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); text-align: justify;">It is too bad that he didn’t understand the role he played in his tragic death." What role was this, you may ask? "</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); text-align: justify;">Had he not been so narcissistic, he may still be alive," Donohue wrote. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); text-align: justify;">Let me be clear: acts of violence and terrorism are never deserved by its victims. Rape is not caused by provocative clothing. Domestic violence is not caused by an inadequate spouse. And mass murder in the name of God is not caused by the victim's attitude, opinions, or behavior. We, as Catholics, should not be looking to blame those tragically taken from us yesterday. We should be angry that any person would kill in the name of God and use religion as a weapon instead of an instrument of peace. We should be angry at those who would do harm for any reason, especially under the farce of a faithful spirit. Those terrorists yesterday did not commit actions from a spirit of faith but a mind of insanity, and I ask that all Catholics stand up against this violence instead of making excuses for it. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Today is a day of mourning for the tragedy against Charlie Hebdo. I will be praying and mourning with Paris. <i>Je suis Catholique. Je suis Charlie.</i> </span></div>
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Shae O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02742929747644961842noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2909535835207205147.post-91129819560620981542014-11-21T17:54:00.001-08:002014-11-21T18:47:24.838-08:00Let Me Be MaryI should preface this post by saying that I was not born a cradle Catholic. I became a convert at the age of 21, so the following childhood story in no way reflects any CCD classes or Catholic beliefs. Just my own child-like understanding of faith and God. Now you may read on...<div><br></div><div>When I was 11 years old, I was a very passionate little Christian. I read the Bible often, and as this was around the time when the Left Behind series was popular, I focused on Revelation quite a bit. One thing I had learned for certain was that Jesus would be coming back. I was incredibly excited for this event--you know, since I'd missed Him the first time. </div><div><br></div><div>The thing is, in my childlike mind, I assumed Jesus couldn't just...show up. I mean, none of us show up fully grown! I believed this must mean He would need to be born...again. (No pun intended!) This is when I got the idea. I prayed night and day. And when I wasn't praying, I was watching my every action, word, and even thought meticulously. You see, if Jesus needed to be born, then God would need another Mary. And I was determined that He would choose me. </div><div><br></div><div>Don't ask me how this idea came to me, but I wanted the opportunity to serve God the way Mary did, to give birth to someone who could change the world, to be selfless and full of love. While other girls asked God for pierced ears or a new video game, I continued day after day to beg God to realize I could be that mother. </div><div><br></div><div>At some point I grew up, and someone or other explained to me how the book of Revelation was really supposed to be interpreted. I hadn't really thought much of this little anecdote from my childhood until recently. A family member posted a beautiful video of the song "Mary Did You Know" and I found myself in tears in parking lot of my work. A certain line simply took my breath away: <i>When you kiss your little baby, you have kissed the face of God. </i></div><div><br></div><div>I am now an adult, a wife, and a mother to three perfect daughters. I know without a shadow of a doubt that when I look into their eyes, I am seeing the perfection of God, and His image shines with pure love through them right back at me. </div><div><br></div><div>As I sat in my car thanking God for such an incredible blessing to serve Him as a mother, it hit me--He had heard my childhood prayer and answered it. I had asked to be a mother, to be selfless and full of love, to give birth to someone who could change the world. And here I am, living out such an incredible opportunity, a miraculous blessing that so many women hope and pray for daily. My daughters can change the world. I pray I guide them with a selfless attitude and heart full of love as they grow to find ways to change it for the better. I asked God, "Let me be Mary" and God smiled upon me. </div><div><br></div><div>I may not be Mary in the literal, impregnated by the Holy Spirit kind of sense. But God blessed me with the spirit of a mother and the ability to become one, and I now thank God for such a role model as Mary while I navigate the blessing of motherhood each and every day. Maybe this little revelation is a silly one, but it really warmed my heart, and I hope it did yours as well. </div><div><br></div><div>God bless you. </div>Shae O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02742929747644961842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2909535835207205147.post-30482504264880013432014-10-29T19:56:00.001-07:002014-10-29T20:01:37.577-07:00The Joyful WomanI wrote the following letter in response to an <a href="http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/6009456?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000046&ir=Women" target="_blank">Article</a> that came across my newsfeed tonight. I think it's a reminder more women need to read, including the author of that article.<br />
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<i>Dear "My Feet Still Hurt",</i></div>
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<i>I read your letter to the Young Couple today. I felt the longing in your diction, the yearning in your syntax. In that moment, as you reflected on younger days of freedom and flirtatious glances, you somehow forgot to reflect on your nowadays. And that is truly sad, because there is so much more to your nowadays than the disappointment and embarrassment you showed in your letter. </i></div>
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<i>I am a fellow wife and mother, a woman with those wrinkled grape stretch marks you described, who prefers comfy shoes (I wear chucks) to stiletto heels. Yet I take such a different view of my nowadays. I come home everyday to three little girls who scream "Mama!" the moment they see my face. I giggle and blush when my husband comes home and sneaks up behind me for a quick nibble at my neck and sweet nothing whispered in my ear. Yes, we must remember to pay bills, and most of the time I carry a diaper bag rather than a coach purse, but I do not spend my days comparing my bliss to that of the Young Couple. </i></div>
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<i>They have their own kind of joy and excitement. And I am happy for them. I remember those days with fondness. But my joy and excitement has not vanished; it has simply transformed. It has grown to envelope three more people, a whole new side of family, a loyal dog we adopted in our "young" days, and countless memories that we continue to make daily. </i></div>
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<i>Please do not forget your joy, dear friend. Do not let muffin tops, tennis shoes, or twenty-something girls cause you to wish for days before your blessed children arrived, before your boyfriend became your partner for eternity, before you grew into the incredible woman you have become. Because your nowadays are something to be proud of and days to take joy in getting to experience. </i></div>
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<i>With love,</i></div>
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<i>The Joyful Woman</i></div>
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Shae O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02742929747644961842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2909535835207205147.post-7395237517793462592014-08-27T18:56:00.001-07:002014-08-28T04:43:14.026-07:00So You Think You Can Judge? Understanding Mental IllnessDuring the show So You Think You Can Dance, Nigel Lythgoe (@dizzyfeet) discussed the death of two loved ones by suicide as an act of "stupidity". While I am a huge fan of both Nigel and the show, I am once again finding myself face to face with the ignorance of our society toward mental illness. Apparently, I am not the only one who was offended by his remarks.<div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-iq6l_-PgWwU/U_8EzeEFGEI/AAAAAAAAAnE/oHlDp-f7el4/s640/blogger-image--544875500.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-iq6l_-PgWwU/U_8EzeEFGEI/AAAAAAAAAnE/oHlDp-f7el4/s640/blogger-image--544875500.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-agUsQZgsQlE/U_8ExrKcI-I/AAAAAAAAAm8/84JTop88zHM/s640/blogger-image--2073155792.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-agUsQZgsQlE/U_8ExrKcI-I/AAAAAAAAAm8/84JTop88zHM/s640/blogger-image--2073155792.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-038S6W6kQ2w/U_8EwOyyTgI/AAAAAAAAAm0/6ZRd3K6UdlY/s640/blogger-image--869321201.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-038S6W6kQ2w/U_8EwOyyTgI/AAAAAAAAAm0/6ZRd3K6UdlY/s640/blogger-image--869321201.jpg"></a></div><br><div><br></div><div>First, I will be keeping Nigel in my prayers for his recently loss. I have no doubt that to him, someone who loved two people deeply and still lost them to a suffering he couldn't possibly understand, it did feel like stupidity that they didn't just come to him or appreciate the love surrounding them or choose life. I'm sure to the loved ones left mourning, the anger and confusion that comes with such tragedy connects to words like "stupidity". I do not blame him for his grief or words spoken out of that grief. </div><div><br></div><div>I do, however, wish he hadn't expressed such ignorance (even out of grief) to a nationwide audience. Mental illness is a serious issue. People do not become depressed because they are not smart enough to be happy. They do not contemplate suicide because they are ignorant of their blessings or the support around them. Mental illness is a disease that attacks the rationale of the mind. As cancer slowly breaks down your body, so depression does with one's mental state. Without proper diagnosis, therapy, medication, and educated support (and sadly, sometimes even despite these forms of treatment), mental illness can continue to debilitate one's sanity until they can no longer rationalize their existence. </div><div><br></div><div>I would like to let that sink in for a moment. What if you literally could not think of a single reason why it would be important for you to exist? How easy would it be to live, believing those you love only suffer by the burden of your existence? If you have never suffered from mental illness then this may sound like an exaggeration. I wish I could say it was. Suicide does not occur because someone is too stupid to choose life or too selfish to stick around for their loved ones or not strong enough in their faith to recognize God's blessings. It happens because disease has taken one's rationality and left them completely alone. </div><div><br></div><div>Nigel chose to respond to the backlash on twitter with the following statement:</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-WMW6GsAImM4/U_8MfJJhbkI/AAAAAAAAAnU/PQhVMR2-0t4/s640/blogger-image-732438595.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-WMW6GsAImM4/U_8MfJJhbkI/AAAAAAAAAnU/PQhVMR2-0t4/s640/blogger-image-732438595.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div>I am so disheartened by his choice to further endorse such ignorant stigmas about mental illness, and I hope others will speak up about what mental illness really is and combat attitudes like this far and wide. We have ice bucket challenges for those suffering from ALS, an entire month of NFL wearing pink for those dying from breast cancer, yet mental illness is still receiving no more than an eye roll and a "stop being stupid and selfish". This needs to end, or suicide will continue to seem like the only option--after all, who wants someone so stupid and selfish to stick around anyway?</div><div><br></div><div>Please be careful how you choose your words. Those who suffer from mental illness need you--they need you educated, willing to help, and ready to empathize. Your support works best when the judgment is left behind. </div></div><div><br></div><div>If you are suffering from depression or contemplating suicide, please know that you are not alone, you are loved, and there is support for you. Call the national suicide prevention hotline and talk to someone now: <a href="tel:1-800-273-8255" x-apple-data-detectors="true" x-apple-data-detectors-type="telephone" x-apple-data-detectors-result="0">1-800-273-8255</a></div><div><br></div><div>God bless. </div>Shae O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02742929747644961842noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2909535835207205147.post-32419308514720675272014-08-14T21:30:00.001-07:002014-08-14T21:45:13.967-07:00Why Walsh is Wrong about Robin Williams and Depression<div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I have appreciated the heartfelt goodbyes from others who share in this loss. It helps ease the pain to know I am not alone. There was one post though that caught me off guard by a man named Matt Walsh (<a href="http://themattwalshblog.com/2014/08/12/robin-williams-didnt-die-disease-died-choice/" target="_blank">you may read it here</a>), and I feel it needs to be addressed. So, below are some quotes from his post and my responses to them.</span><br>
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<span style="font-size: large;">"<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Your suicide doesn’t happen <b>to</b> you; it doesn’t attack you like cancer or descend upon you like a tornado. It is a decision made by an individual. A bad decision. <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Always</em> a bad decision."</span></span><br>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-size: large;">Mr. Walsh simplifies the concepts of suicide and depression early on in his post. By simply calling suicide "a bad decision" that "doesn't happen to you", it negates the understanding of depression and other psychological illnesses and their effects on the human condition. Suicide is never a decision we would want a loved one to make. It is important though to understand that the rationality of a diseased mind is unlike a healthy one. It is not a decision made clearly or in a sane state of mind. It is a decision made while one is <i>under attack</i> by depression.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-size: large;">"Can we tell our friend to step away from the ledge after we just spoke so glowingly of Robin Williams’ newfound “peace” and “freedom”? This is too important a subject to be careless about. We want to say nice things, I realize, but it isn’t nice to lie about suicide."</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-size: large;">Mr. Walsh may have meant that question rhetorically, but I will answer it now. Yes! We can tell our friend to step off the ledge after (even moments after) posting on Facebook that we hope or believe Robin Williams has found peace and freedom.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-size: large;">This is because the disease of depression (and other psychological conditions) prevents a human being from being completely free. The disease attacks one's rational ability to think thoughts or make decisions of free will as God intended. It is a <i>lie</i> to suggest suicide is simply a "bad decision", instead of an action made by a disease-ridden mind that has lost control of rationality. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-size: large;">So it is not careless to admit someone is now free from the disease that plagued him or her for a lifetime. It also does not take away our right (and duty) to reach out to our loved ones and remind them that our lives would be diminished by the loss of their light. Acknowledging the struggle that causes suicide and begging loved ones to choose life are not mutually exclusive. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-size: large;">"Depression is a mental affliction, yes, but also spiritual. That isn’t to say that a depressed person is evil or weak, <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">just that his depression is deeper and more profound than a simple matter of disproportioned brain chemicals</em>."</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-size: large;">This statement seemed to receive the most backlash, and I understand why. Mr. Walsh assumes, even though he speaks of his own past with depression, that a psychological disease of "disproportioned brain chemicals" is viewed as "a simple matter" by our society. The fact that he feels the need to add to the definition of this medical condition in order to make it "deeper and more profound" only shows a lack of truly understanding this disease on his part. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-size: large;">Stating that this condition comes from a chemical imbalance isn't simplifying anything--it's just saying what creates the condition. Does this condition cause mental affliction? Yes. Does it cause spiritual affliction? Often it can. But IS the disease a mental or spiritual affliction? No. Those afflictions are symptoms of the disease, not the definition of it. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-size: large;">"We tend to look for the easiest answers. It makes us feel better to say that depression is only a disease and that there is no will and choice in suicide, as if a person who kills themselves is as much a victim as someone who succumbs to leukemia."</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-size: large;">At this point I would like to mention that I recently found out that Matt Walsh is a Catholic. I say this because I would like to address this belief from a Catholic perspective, as I worry that such a well known Catholic could influence the public's view of our Church in a negative way if it is not clarified. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-size: large;">No one, <b>not even the Catholic Church</b>, says that depression is a disease because it "makes us feel better". We say that depression is a disease because--and I want to be very clear on this--<b>depression IS a disease. </b></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: large;">Many people wrongly assume that the Catholic Church believes that anyone who commits suicide automatically goes to hell. This is untrue. While the Church does recognize that the act of suicide is "contrary to the love of the living God" (Catechism 2281), it also recognizes the following:</span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: large;"><br></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-size: large;"><b>Grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide. (Catechism 2282, paragraph 2)</b></span></div><div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-size: large;"><b><br></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">This brings attention to the fact that psychological conditions prevent a person from acting in a completely rational or sane mindset. The Church doesn't include this statement to make anyone feel better, but to recognize the severity of psychological disturbances and how they can affect an otherwise rational person's state of mind.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-size: large;">"But I don’t understand how theists, who acknowledge the existence of the soul, think they can draw some clear line of distinction between the body and the soul, and declare unequivocally that depression is rooted in one but not the other. This is a radically materialist view now shared by millions of spiritualist people."</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-size: large;">This statement is frustrating because it assumes quite a bit about one's faith. I'm not sure where Mr. Walsh believes our soul resides in the body, but I don't think that having a wholistic view of body and soul--that the two are completely intertwined instead of one residing in the other--makes one "materialistic" in their faith. It is simply a different perspective of how God formed us in our creation. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-size: large;">"To act like death by suicide is exactly analogous to death by malaria or heart failure is to steal hope from the suicidal person. We think we are comforting him, but in fact we are convincing him that he is powerless."</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-size: large;">I found this quote particularly interesting because I happen to come from a family that suffers from addiction. If you have ever gone to an AA/NA/Al-Anon meeting, then you know that the first step of the infamous 12 Steps is this: </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-size: large;">This is said specifically to address the fact that unlike any other "choice" an addict makes in his or her life, a "choice" regarding the addiction is fueled by the disease. It does not mean someone did not make a choice to drink, it simply means that the choice to drink was inhibited by one's diseased mind. It brings understanding to the rationality of the mind behind the action. This actually gives hope rather than stealing it. There is a relief in finally being enlightened to the fact that you don't have these thoughts or make these choices because you are a bad person, but because you suffer from a disease that debilitates your mental state of health. If an addict overdoses, the report states exactly that--but the fact that the addict overdosed because of his addiction shines a light on the addict's mental health at the time. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-size: large;">"Second, we can debate medication dosages and psychotherapy treatments, but, in the end, joy is the only thing that <em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">defeats</em> depression."</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-size: large;">As someone who has suffered from depression, and whose loved ones also have suffered from various mental conditions, I can only sigh at such an incredibly ignorant statement. I wonder if this is what Mr. Walsh meant by "there are important truths we can take from the suicide of a rich and powerful man..." Perhaps that money and power may be able to buy the best medicine and treatments, but it can't buy joy? So this must mean that medicine and treatments can't fix depression--only joy can?</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Mr. Walsh suggested that those who didn't have a spiritual mindset oversimplified the disease of depression. Sadly, this statement shows that the person simplifying the condition is him. His statement of joy being the only remedy or hero would by default mean that Robin Williams (and any other person who suffers from depression) just didn't have enough joy in his life. It takes an incredible amount of judgment to assume that a person did not have enough joy to save him. This implies that Robin's wife and children were not enough. This implies that there was more they could have done or been to provide a right amount of joy to defeat his disease. This must be the case since he stated "</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The two [joy and depression] cannot coexist."</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-size: large;">This places a weight of blame on loved ones of the depressed. This also places a burden of finding joy on the depressed themselves. A disease is something out of our control. Therefore, we cannot simply force ourselves to feel joy. And what is scarrier is the thought that some people suffering from this disease may try to fake joy in order to defeat depression, feeling like failures (or making their loved ones feel like failures) if they ever admit they cannot overcome the weight of depression on their lives. </span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-size: large;">In the end, there is one thing I do agree with Mr. Walsh on, so I'll end with one last quote:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">"</span><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">If you are thinking about suicide, don’t keep it inside. Tell someone.</span></span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-size: large;">Never give up the fight.</span></div>
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<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-size: large;">There is always hope."</span></div>
Shae O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02742929747644961842noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2909535835207205147.post-70700551142584320362014-08-12T09:32:00.002-07:002014-08-12T09:36:17.505-07:00NFP for the Disbelieving SpouseNatural Family Planning (NFP) is an effective way to avoid pregnancy. It is also a choice that promotes spiritual, emotional, and physical health by learning about and working with the body God created for you. But what do you do if you don't believe in the need for NFP?<br />
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The story usually goes something like this: Boy meets girl. Boy and girl fall in love. The word soulmate is often used. Vows are made to love one another completely as they are. Then it's happily ever after until...sometimes it is a conversion to Catholicism, sometimes simply a deepening of spiritual faith, but something changed in the story and now you are being asked to support something you don't think is necessary to prevent a sin you don't believe exists.</div>
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The truth is that many Catholics don't practice NFP. (I'm sure at this point you are wishing you were one of them.) Yet that doesn't make the Catholic Teaching suddenly disappear or become less important. The Catholic Church is very clear on the "why" of NFP, which you have probably heard of as being "open to life". NFP allows for that by not creating barriers in the form of hormonal manipulation of the body or artificial blocks that prevent the sperm from entering the vagina. Oh, and of course not purposefully letting those sperm get loose via any act other than vaginal intercourse.</div>
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Have I already ruined any and all interest you had in sex? Believe me, I get it.</div>
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Perhaps you feel like this teaching is ancient and the Church needs to modernize its views. Perhaps you are offended that God would judge you for enjoying marriage, when you've been a faithful spouse and upheld your marital duties. Perhaps you've had a chance to watch NFP in action--via your wife's stress and worry--and don't think this is worth it. </div>
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My guess is you are reading this because you haven't been able to convince your spouse to just give up Natural Family Planning or you're trying to figure out how to live in this world of NFP. The fact that you are reading this actually shows a level of character, commitment, and care for your marriage that any woman should be grateful to find in her husband. So, what can you do to support your wife, even if you don't necessarily agree with this method? Here are a few ideas...</div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">1) Take a class with your spouse.</span></b></div>
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There are Natural Family Planning classes for every method out there. Most of them are taught in person, but if that doesn't suit your schedule then online classes are also readily available. There are many benefits of taking a class with your spouse. </div>
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<li>You will actually know what she is talking about. </li>
<li>You will learn to understand the scientific aspects of NFP, not just the religious conviction behind it. </li>
<li>You will be able to initiate sex again (because you'll finally be able to read a chart). </li>
<li>You will show your wife that you love her completely--even the beliefs of hers that you may not agree with. </li>
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There are some forms of intimacy that don't require being naked, and standing by your spouse with an open mind is one of them.</div>
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I understand the feeling of disagreement with some (or all) of Church teaching. It can be incredibly frustrating to initiate intimacy, complete it in a way that is against Catholic teaching (but left you, and maybe even wife, fulfilled), only to see the look of guilt linger in your spouse's eyes until her next visit to confession. I strongly urge you to try a different route then. Instead of getting angry at the Church for creating rules that you may feel are "unnatural" to follow, try offering yourself fully to the convictions of your wife. Even try to be MORE convicted than her! When she begins to act frustrated during a time when it's not advisable to be intimate, write her a love letter reminding her that you love her for all that she is and that she is worth waiting for. If you know you're in for a long bout of abstinence, come up with activities that encourage other forms of intimacy (trying something new together, taking a class, attending church, etc.). Remember that the more you show support, the more you can see what NFP is like at its best--its best being when spouses commit to it TOGETHER.</div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">3) Talk to someone about your struggles with NFP (WHO IS NOT YOUR SPOUSE).</span></b></div>
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I know, I know. I just spent the last two ideas talking about the importance of communication with your wife. Here's the thing though: When your wife is facing the anxiety of deciphering charts and symptoms and your respond with frustration and resentment, it serves no one. If NFP a struggle sometimes? Yes. Does it mean we have to place our struggle on the shoulders of the person we love most? No. Talk to a priest (and argue with one if you need to...they went to school for that.) Talk to your NFP instructor. Join an online support group for those who practice NFP. Make friends at church or through your NFP classes who can hold you accountable or share in your trying times. It is ok not to like NFP at all times, as most couples struggle together at some point. It is just important that NFP doesn't become husband <i>vs. </i>wife, but instead is a daily journey of husband <i>and</i> wife walking together.</div>
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If you've made it this far, then I applaud you. Choosing to be there for your spouse takes unconditional love. Remember that the intimacy of marriage doesn't begin or end in the bedroom, but it can be found there--whether or not sex is involved at the end of any given day. </div>
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God bless you.</div>
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**NOTE: It is not always the husband who finds himself in a position of disagreement with NFP. These ideas could also work for a wife trying to support her husband's convictions toward NFP. This post is in no way trying to suggest that this is a problem only men face, and any spouse who is willing to try NFP to support his or her spouse's beliefs is a wonderful one.</div>
Shae O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02742929747644961842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2909535835207205147.post-11990881378958968842014-08-01T13:14:00.000-07:002014-08-01T18:11:37.887-07:00The First 24 Hours of Breastfeeding<span style="font-size: large;">A friend of mine sent me a message asking about breastfeeding this morning. She is less than 24 hours into her breastfeeding journey, and I am so proud of her already! (By the way, congratulations on your beautiful baby girl!) I started my breastfeeding journey on August 4th, 2011, and my friend's message suddenly got me thinking back to my first experiences as a new mother and milk maker. I was so excited, nervous, and downright naive about what breastfeeding entailed and how to be successful at it. Truth be told, those first 24 hours were a huge wake up call to me! So, to assist my friend in this new and beautiful part of motherhood, and to help any moms-to-be or brand new mommies out there, I decided to make a list of things to know for those first glorious (sleepless) hours of breastfeeding...</span><br>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Learning to breastfeed is NOT the most natural thing in the world. </span></b><br>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Oh yes, breastfeeding is natural. You hear all the pro-BFing advocates out there talking about "breast is best" and "it's the most natural thing in the world since the beginning of time!" I get that. But LEARNING to breastfeed is a process. If it comes naturally to you, it is a miracle of God. If it doesn't, please don't freak out! You are in the majority here. It is important to remember that while your body was made for this, you've still never done it before. Also, it is the first thing (EVER!) that your baby will learn how to do. That's kind of a big deal. So, take a deep breath. It is ok if it takes time, help, and practice. Don't feel like a failure if your first thought is more "Oh God, this hurts like heck!" than "Thank you God for this miracle of life." It's a learning process.</span><br>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Get the Latch right! </span></b><br>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hq_2EZmCxFE/U9vvNR5V8uI/AAAAAAAAAl4/OKPEKqpjhKc/s1600/latch.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-hq_2EZmCxFE/U9vvNR5V8uI/AAAAAAAAAl4/OKPEKqpjhKc/s1600/latch.jpg" height="280" width="400"></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">This is a great follow up to number one because, frankly, nobody mentions the technical term "latch" until the baby is already rooting for food. Once you do learn what it is, you realize that in order to correct said infant, you'd have to somehow UNlatch him or her and RElatch. And if you are anything like I was, then you truly believe it would be better for baby to stay on there sucking incorrectly than to go through the pain of latching ever again. Trust me when I say, you want to get the latch right. I did not get the latch right. I pretended it didn't hurt. I was afraid of each feeding because of the pain. And because I didn't fix the latch, my nipples bruised and bled, and my breastfeeding experience was something I feared and resented for the first two days. You want to get that latch right, and if you don't know how then request a Lactation Consultant immediately. (Yes, I do mean the moment you realize you need one.) But once you do have the latch right, please know...</span><br>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Yes, it is supposed to hurt. </span></b><br>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I know people have told you that if you do it right it will feel right...Well, they're wrong. It is normal for it to hurt at first, and by "at first" I mean the first month or so (maybe longer). Your nipples were created for this, but just like any part of your body, it takes time for them to get used to this kind of work. So, the most important thing you can do is care for your nipples. My hospital gave me lanolin cream, which worked great for me. I simply covered my nipples in it after each feeding and let them air dry. Ask your nurse or lactation consultant for some nipple care products. Keep your hospital robe unbuttoned, and don't be afraid to fan your nipples or ask your helper to blow on them a little if it helps the pain. If you plan to have a lot of visitors in the hospital, you may either let your freak flag fly or ask them to come back after you've had a chance to air them out. It does indeed make a huge difference between tender nipples and dry, cracked, bleeding ones.</span><div><font size="4"><br></font></div><div><font size="4">Also, breastfeeding in the first few days or weeks will cause contractions or cramping in your uterus. This is normal, so don't worry, but do prepared to deal with that extra little experience as well. <br></font>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>It takes days for your milk to come in.</b> </span><br>
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<span style="font-size: large;">Many women immediately succumb to the idea of supplementing (giving baby formula) during the first 24 hours because of a fear of "lack of production". I am here to assure you, most women's milk takes days to come in. When your baby is born, your breasts immediately begin to produce colostrum, which is a super drink packed with newborn nutrients. It doesn't seem like you make a lot, and the reason for this is that your baby has an itty, bitty, newborn stomach that doesn't require quantity but quality. Don't be frustrated if it takes a few days for your milk to arrive. If baby sucks it, milk will come.</span><br>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Even if baby can't latch, you can still feed. </span></b><br>
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<span style="font-size: large;">There are a variety of reasons baby may be unable to feed directly from you. You may have gone into labor prematurely, and your little one may need to stay in NICU. Your baby may be like mine was and have jaundice, requiring him or her to stay under UV rays all day. Your milk may take longer to come in than expected. Your baby may also be tongue tied (yes, that's an actual term) and have difficulty latching. This does not mean you cannot breastfeed. It does mean that you may need to become best friends with your breast pump. Don't have one, you say? No worries! Hospitals have them and can bring one to your room for you to pump milk and feed it to baby via tube or curved syringe if needed. (Ask your nurse or pediatrician how it would be best to go about feeding little one.) Breast pumps are not the real thing, so you may feel like you produce less when pumping, which is ok. Just pump as much as baby would eat (about every couple hours), and ask your hospital for assistance in refrigerating or freezing your supply. </span><br>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Sleep will from now on be replaced by many many naps. </span></b><br>
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<span style="font-size: large;">This is true for all mothers, but even more so for breastfeeding mothers. This is because if a baby is formula feeding, then a helper could feed him or her while you get a somewhat normal stretch of sleep. But as a breastfeeding mama, your milk can only be offered by you. So, you will feel exhausted and barely sane. It is important that if you have a helper (spouse, family member, friend), you let them take on as much of the other stuff as you can. If baby needs a diaper change, let them do it. If visitors need hosting, let them do it. Your job is to recover from delivering an entire human being and to learn how to feed said human being. Period. (And snuggle and adore said human being, too, of course.)</span><br>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">There is more than one position to feed in.</span></b><br>
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<span style="font-size: large;">This one really blew my mind the first day. I assumed Hollywood had really taught me everything I need to know about breastfeeding. Cradle baby in arms, slip out breast gracefully and without nip showing, and baby will magically begin to eat. Hollywood was wrong. </span><br>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Xyt01sAzisw/U9vwlST73RI/AAAAAAAAAmE/pthkxPW2Mrs/s1600/bfing+positions.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Xyt01sAzisw/U9vwlST73RI/AAAAAAAAAmE/pthkxPW2Mrs/s1600/bfing+positions.jpg" height="250" width="400"></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">As it turns out, there are many positions, and your baby may latch better and eat longer in one over the other. Take the time to try different positions out and see what works best for your comfort and theirs. In most cases it will make breastfeeding easier and more successful for you and baby.</span><br>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Pillows! Pillows! Pillows!</span></b><br>
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<span style="font-size: large;">When you first hold that precious little bundle of joy, you stare in awe at how tiny your baby is! But after a good 30 minute feeding, you begin to feel just how heavy six pounds and 11 ounces can really be. If you do not already have a <a href="http://www.boppy.com/" target="_blank">Boppy</a> or <a href="http://www.mybrestfriend.com/" target="_blank">Breast Friend</a> pillow, you can have your helper pick one up for you to have when you get home. Until then, do not be afraid to ask for a plethora of pillows to stack up around you to make breastfeeding more comfortable. Note that in the picture above, every mother has a pillow. I used two! This takes the pressure (both literally and figuratively) off of you holding the baby, and refocuses it where it belongs--on learning to feed your little one.</span><br>
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<span style="font-size: large;">So, after learning all of this, you may wonder why you weren't told about the hardship and horror of breastfeeding before you started. The truth is, most mothers don't remember this part. Yes, it hurt at first. Yes, it caused tears and stress and doubt. But the part that matters, the part that mothers do remember, is that it was worth it. I am currently breastfeeding my third daughter, and because I work this requires the added stress of pumping, but I never thought about not doing it. (Ok, maybe once at 3am when I'd been up for 24 hours straight I thought about it once.) There is something so incredible about the miracle of breastfeeding. Not all mothers get the opportunity to do it. If you can, be grateful. And if this is what you want, stick with it. There is nothing in the world quite like it.</span><br>
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</div>Shae O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02742929747644961842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2909535835207205147.post-60202910238811157482014-07-24T11:57:00.000-07:002014-07-25T12:26:44.700-07:00Friendly Fire: When NFP is Questioned Within the ChurchOn my first post in celebration of National Natural Family Planning (NFP) Awareness Week (<a href="http://thecatholicmama.blogspot.com/2014/07/why-we-use-natural-family-planning.html" target="_blank">Why We Use NFP</a>) I received a comment from a fellow Catholic woman stating that the Church is actually against the use of NFP (except in very rare circumstances). My heart dropped as I read the words and judgment (not without good intentions, mind you) of a fellow sister in my own faith. Yet it reminded me of the irony that tends to come with NFP--most often the opposition comes from within.<br>
<br>
While most of America is boasting of the "war against women" being the Catholic Church vs. Contraception, there is an inner battle that is still being fought among the members of the Church itself. Natural Family Planning is the only form of "family planning" or "child spacing" allowed by the Catholic Church. That being said, there are many who believe it should not be used at all, unless in a rare circumstance of life or death. Much of this comes from a translation of an encyclical letter written by Pope Paul VII called <i>Humanae Vitae</i>, which discusses human life as it relates to married life and the conjugal act (sex).<br>
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<u><span style="font-size: x-large;">The Mistranslation of Humanae Vitae</span></u><br>
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If you haven't read the entirety of <a href="http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/paul_vi/encyclicals/documents/hf_p-vi_enc_25071968_humanae-vitae_en.html" target="_blank"><i>Humanae Vitae</i></a> yet, I highly suggest you do. It takes time and focus, but it is beautifully written and reflects the love and beauty of God, the Church, and marriage. It also serves as the main reference point for Catholics seeking an understanding of the Church's stance on intimacy and procreation in the eyes of God. Because of this, it is very important that we understand something that often goes unnoticed: there are two different translations of <i>Humanae Vitae</i> in use by the Church in America. One translations comes from Pauline Books and Media and the other comes from the Vatican itself. As an English teacher, I find it integral to recognize what the differences are in this text and how it affects the various attitudes of the body of our Church.<br>
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<b>"Grave Motives" vs. "Serious Reasons"</b><br>
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The argument over whether or not Catholics should practice NFP is due to two very different understandings of <i>Humanae Vitae</i>. There is a catch phrase within <i>Humanae Vitae</i> that has promoted a large amount of judgment within the Catholic Church regarding NFP: "grave motives". It suggests that couples may only practice NFP when they have "grave motives" to do so. Except when I tried to find this phrase in the English translation of <i>Humanae Vitae</i> on the official Vatican website, it was not there. As it turns out, this is because the phrase comes from the translation of <i>Humanae Vitae</i> by Pauline Books and Media. In the official Vatican translation, the term used instead is "serious reasons". Is this really that big of a deal?<br>
<br>
Well, let's take a look at some definitions.<br>
<br>
<div class="vk_ans" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: xx-large !important; margin-bottom: 0px;">
<span data-dobid="hdw">grave</span><sup class="lr_dct_ent_hi" style="font-size: small; position: relative; top: -8px;">2</sup></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 15px;">
<div class="lr_dct_ent_ph" style="font-size: large;">
<span class="lr_dct_ph">grāv/</span></div>
<div>
<div class="lr_dct_sf_h" style="padding-top: 10px;">
<i>adjective</i></div>
<div class="vk_gy" data-mh="-1" style="color: rgb(135, 135, 135) !important;">
adjective: <b>grave</b>; comparative adjective: <b>graver</b>; superlative adjective: <b>gravest</b></div>
<ol class="lr_dct_sf_sens" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;">
<li style="border: 0px; line-height: 1.2; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div class="lr_dct_sf_sen vk_txt" style="padding-top: 10px;">
<div style="float: left;">
<strong>1</strong>.</div>
<div style="margin-left: 20px;">
<div data-dobid="dfn" style="display: inline;">
giving cause for alarm; serious.</div>
<div class="vk_gy" style="color: rgb(135, 135, 135) !important;">
"a matter of grave concern"</div>
</div>
</div>
</li>
</ol>
</div>
</div>
<br>
<div class="vk_ans" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: xx-large !important; margin-bottom: 0px;">
<span data-dobid="hdw">se·ri·ous</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: 15px;">
<div class="lr_dct_ent_ph" style="font-size: large;">
<span class="lr_dct_ph">ˈsi(ə)rēəs/</span><span class="lr_dct_spkr lr_dct_spkr_off" data-log-string="pronunciation-icon-click" jsaction="dob.p" style="display: inline-block; height: 16px; margin: 0px 2px 4px 5px; opacity: 0.55; vertical-align: middle; width: 16px;" title="Listen"><input height="14" src="data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAAA4AAAAOCAQAAAC1QeVaAAAAi0lEQVQokWNgQAYyQFzGsIJBnwED8DNcBpK+DM8YfjMUokqxMRxg+A9m8TJsBLLSEFKMDCuBAv/hCncxfGWQhUn2gaVAktkMXkBSHmh0OwNU8D9csoHhO4MikN7BcAGb5H+GYiDdCTQYq2QubkkkY/E6CLtXdiJ7BTMQMnAHXxFm6IICvhwY8AYQLgCw2U9d90B8BAAAAABJRU5ErkJggg==" type="image" width="14"></span></div>
<div>
<div class="lr_dct_sf_h" style="padding-top: 10px;">
<i>adjective</i></div>
<div class="xpdxpnd vk_gy" data-mh="15" data-mhc="1" style="-webkit-transition: max-height 0.3s; color: rgb(135, 135, 135) !important; max-height: 15px; overflow: hidden; transition: max-height 0.3s;">
adjective: <b>serious</b></div>
<ol class="lr_dct_sf_sens" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 20px;">
<li style="border: 0px; line-height: 1.2; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><div class="lr_dct_sf_sen vk_txt" style="padding-top: 10px;">
<div style="float: left;">
<strong>1</strong>.</div>
<div style="margin-left: 20px;">
<div>
<div data-dobid="dfn" style="display: inline;">
(of a person) solemn or thoughtful in character or manner.</div>
<div class="vk_gy" style="color: rgb(135, 135, 135) !important;">
"her face grew serious"</div>
</div>
<div style="margin-left: -13px;">
<ul style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<li class="xpdxpnd" data-mh="35" data-mhc="1" style="-webkit-transition: max-height 0.3s; border: 0px; line-height: 1.2; list-style: none; margin: 0px; max-height: 35px; overflow: hidden; padding: 0px; transition: max-height 0.3s;"><div class="lr_dct_sf_subsen" style="display: list-item; font-size: xx-small; list-style-type: disc; margin-left: 25px; padding-top: 5px;">
<div style="font-size: small;">
<div data-dobid="dfn" style="display: inline;">
(of thought or discussion) careful or profound.</div>
<div class="vk_gy" style="color: rgb(135, 135, 135) !important;">
"we give serious consideration to safety recommendations"</div>
</div>
</div>
</li>
</ul>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</li>
</ol>
</div>
</div>
<br>
As you can see from these two definitions, we get two completely different feelings and understandings. With "grave", it offers an understanding of only being able to practice NFP if something is wrong or "gives cause for alarm". With "serious", we get a very different feeling of being able to practice NFP if we do so with "solemn", "thoughtful", or "careful" consideration as to our reasons. The main difference here is that the first word speaks to the reason itself while the second word speaks to the attitude of the couple considering practicing NFP.<br>
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<b>Large Families </b><strike>vs.</strike><b> and Small Families</b><br>
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A difference in translations also lends to a difference in belief over what family size the Church promotes and supports. As many Catholics can attest, we are often expected by other Catholics and non-Catholics alike to have a large family. This can sadly become a bar to which any Catholic couple who is struggling to conceive may feel inadequate in their faith for not being able to reach. Let us go back to our two translations to see where the confusion sets in...<br>
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<span style="background-color: whitesmoke; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px; text-align: justify;"><i>In relation to physical, economic, psychological and social conditions, responsible parenthood is exercised, either by the deliberate and generous decision to raise a numerous family, or by the decision, made for grave motives and with due respect for the moral law, to avoid for the time being, or even for an indeterminate period, a new birth. </i></span><br>
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This translation by Pauline Books and Media suggests that if a couple doesn't have a "grave motive" to avoid more children, then their other option is the "deliberate and generous decision to raise a numerous family". This particular translation makes me cringe when I think of the guilt and stress a Catholic couple may feel, whether constantly second guessing if their motives are grave enough or not using NFP out of fear of committing sin when they may actually need it.<br>
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<span style="background-color: whitesmoke; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, Georgia, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px; text-align: justify;"><i>With regard to physical, economic, psychological and social conditions, responsible parenthood is exercised by those who prudently and generously decide to have more children, and by those who, for serious reasons and with due respect to moral precepts, decide not to have additional children for either a certain or an indefinite period of time. </i></span><br>
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In the Vatican's translation, suddenly this is changed from an "either/or" choice, to one of constant and careful thought throughout a marriage, which may transition from being ready to have more children to feeling the need to consider avoiding more children and back, as circumstances change and develop. Most important to point out is that in this translation, "prudently" replaces "deliberately" as to the manner in which a couple should move forward in the growth of their family, meaning that it shouldn't be assumed that one must purposefully have a large family but instead consider a large family by "showing care and thought for the future" in their discernment.<br>
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<b>"Responsible Parenting"</b><br>
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The beautiful focus, regardless of translation, is the idea of "responsible parenting". This phrase demands of all of us, whether trying to conceive or avoid, to do so with serious consideration, prayer, and communication with one's spouse. It demands that we make the choice of procreation "with regard to physical, economic, psychological, and social conditions". It reminds us that marriage isn't meant to be careless or thoughtless, but instead a woven tapestry of reflection, prayer, discussion, and intimacy between two spouses to become one again and again. Finally, it also places consideration on the most important people in this equation, not ourselves but the children God has waiting for us.<br>
<br>
<br>
<u><span style="font-size: x-large;">How to use NFP in accordance with God's will</span></u><br>
<br>
What does this mean for NFP, and for those who feel strongly about their translation or interpretation of <i>Humanae Vitae</i>? It means that we all have a duty to prudently and generously consider where God is leading us in our marriages. It means that some of us may determine that our family is meant to be small and others that ours are meant to continue to grow. It also means that some of us will avoid for a time, or indefinitely, with serious reason even though we may long for more children desperately, while others will intentionally try to conceive cycle after cycle to no avail. It means that because it takes work and communication and reflection of our moral precepts, we will need each other to remind us of the purpose, beauty, and calling of NFP and how we should regard it with respect to God's will in our lives.<br>
<br>
Natural Family Planning is about the prudence and generosity of a married couple, and requires constant reflection on the focus and reasoning for that focus toward the future of their family. If you feel that now may be a good time to reflect on your own use of NFP, here are some questions that can assist you and your spouse in beginning that integral communication and prayer (and you are also welcome to check out <a href="http://thecatholicmama.blogspot.com/2014/07/my-tta-prayer-of-discernment.html" target="_blank">My TTA Prayer of Discernment</a>), so you may discern what God is calling you to do:<br>
<br>
<ul>
<li>Have we adequately prepared our marriage and our circumstances to be able to care for any future children God may see fit to give us? </li>
<li>How is our communication as a couple, in regards to our needs and desires, concerns and questions? Are we able to listen for understanding and support each other by finding answers together in accordance with God's will for our lives?</li>
<li>What health issues or concerns (physical or mental) do we have and would they best be addressed before considering another pregnancy?</li>
<li>Do either of us have a "serious reason", "grave motive", or "just cause" that we feel merits avoiding pregnancy at this time or indefinitely? What would need to change in this circumstance to allow for our family to grow again, if ever?</li>
<li>Is there a possible reason or motive that we are unsure merits avoiding pregnancy that would be better discerned by talking with our priest?</li>
<li>Is there a "serious reason" or "grave motive" that we feel may require us to avoid pregnancy, but we feel the desire to pursue pregnancy anyway? Would it help to clarify or discern further course of action by discussing this reason with our priest?</li>
</ul>
<div>
<br>
In regards to how we view, judge, or confront other Catholics' choice to use NFP, I hope we can focus our thoughts and contemplation on our own morals and actions instead. As I like to think of it, The point is, it is not our job to create bars where the Church has offered curves, to place judgment where the Church has offered allowance. That in no way serves God, the Church, each other, or ourselves. </div>
<div>
<br></div>
<div>
It reminds me of something teachers say often: "I am looking for your best, and your grade will reflect anything less than your best." In all reality, it is a way to promote purposeful reflection and effort from the student, but is not meant for students to start judging each other's work against their own idea of "best". Only the Teacher can, and should, determine that. The rest of us should be focused on helping our peers turn out the best work they can, which requires a spirit of love, acceptance, and understanding. NFP can only work properly if we do it with a heart of service...to God, our spouses, our family, and each other. </div>
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<br></div>
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May God truly bless you all in this holy endeavor.</div>
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Shae O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02742929747644961842noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2909535835207205147.post-4019697923604479152014-07-22T08:12:00.001-07:002014-07-22T08:12:16.621-07:00My TTA Prayer of DiscernmentToday, as my charting suggested, I started my period. Each time this happens, I find myself in awe of the way God designed the female body, with a pattern, a cycle of life that I can learn and decipher. I have such an appreciation and respect for my body through all of my knowledge and practice of Natural Family Planning. It really is an incredible and miraculous experience. <div><br></div><div>To some people, a period is a burden. It's gross. It's annoying. Birth control is an easy way to get rid of it. (All of these things are true.) But I am grateful for it. I am grateful that it shows me my body is working correctly. I am grateful that it reminds me of the power of my body as a woman. And right now, I am grateful that it shows me that I am not pregnant. </div><div><br></div><div>Yes, I am one of those women currently using NFP to TTA (try to avoid) pregnancy. And this is another thing I love about NFP. Each month I have the opportunity to talk to my husband, pray with him, and discern if we want to continue to avoid pregnancy or if we feel we are ready to open our lives to another child. </div><div><br></div><div>This morning, when I realized my new cycle had begun, I said a prayer in my heart to God:</div><div><br></div><div><i>Holy Father,</i></div><div><i><br></i></div><div><i>It is with gratitude that I accept the beginning of a new cycle. Thank You for Your continued guidance for our family. I pray that You keep my heart and mind open to life, that You keep my focus on Your plan for our family, and that You continue to bless us though we are unworthy. May I always remember to begin each cycle in contemplation and discernment of Your will and continue to recognize the beauty and wonder in the body you have created for me. </i></div><div><i><br></i></div><div><i>In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. </i></div><div><i>Amen</i></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div>Do you have your own way of seeking God out and discerning your family's needs each cycle? If so, I'd love to hear about it below! If not, you are more than welcome to use my prayer. God bless. </div>Shae O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02742929747644961842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2909535835207205147.post-4239631800086361762014-07-21T09:41:00.002-07:002014-07-21T11:15:38.732-07:00Top Myths About NFP<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">So, you're curious about Natural Family Planning but don't know where to start. I understand the feeling. When I decided to finally dive in to the world of NFP, I was overwhelmed with information, assumptions, misunderstandings, and straight up lies. It took a lot of research on my part to determine what I needed to know and what I needed to know was incorrect. But should you have to deal with the same confusion I suffered through? Nah! To help you out, I've listed the top NFP myths below, and what you need to know...</span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /><b>1) Natural Family Planning is for Catholics.</b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br />If you've read the news lately (or even glanced at social media) then you've read about the debate between women's rights and religious liberty. Many Catholic Bishops have been speaking out about how we should be free NOT to pay for other people's contraception since it goes against Catholic beliefs. (If you want to take a gander at my views on this topic, you're welcome to read <a href="http://thecatholicmama.blogspot.com/2014/07/birth-control-hobby-lobby-and-this.html" target="_blank">Birth Control, Hobby Lobby, and this Catholic Mama</a>.) </span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br />However, religious beliefs aren't the only reason people are choosing to use NFP. There are other factors enticing people to take the plunge these days, and most of it has nothing to do with your feelings on the Pope. Learning about our bodies and choosing a healthier form of pregnancy prevention is for EVERYONE. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br />(Feel free to read <a href="http://thecatholicmama.blogspot.com/2014/07/why-we-use-natural-family-planning.html" target="_blank">Why We Use Natural Family Planning</a> to read more.)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /><br /><b>2) NFP is just leaving it up to God.</b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br />From personal experience, I can definitely say that if practicing NFP was just "leaving it up to God" then I would be perpetually pregnant FOREVER! I am like the poster child of Fertility. So, we practice NFP because we want to be responsible, financially stable parents to our children, and that means we simply can't be the baby making factory of Texas right now. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br />The truth is, some people believe God made our bodies, and some people believe that God doesn't exist. This post is in no way meant to be a debate about that. But my point is, regardless of your religious beliefs, we can all recognize that science can explain our cycles, our fertility, and the process of making a baby. So why not use that knowledge to our advantage? NFP isn't about throwing up your hands to a higher power. It is about using our knowledge of how our bodies work to achieve or prevent pregnancy month to month as we see fit.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /><br /><b>3) NFP = the Rhythm Method</b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br />So, you've heard of the rhythm method, eh? Then you know a tinsy bit about the history of NFP. HOWEVER, Natural Family Planning is NOT the Rhythm Method. The Rhythm Method was created in the early 1900's and is based on the idea that ovulation must happen the same day every cycle. So, simply calculate how long your cycle is to estimate when ovulation occurred. The problem with that concept is that women's cycles are rarely that predictable, as a variety of health and stress factors can fluctuate one's cycle from month to month. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br />Natural Family Planning takes a scientific approach of recognizing biological signs that one is either fertile or infertile throughout the month. NFP has even gotten so advanced that some methods use fertility monitors that can predict fertility using saliva, cervical mucus, or urine! It's actually pretty awesome.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /><br /><b>4) NFP is basically abstinence!</b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br />Let me tell you right now, if NFP was abstinence, I'm not sure I could be on board with that! After all, I chose marriage over the convent for a reason. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br />I will be honest and say that it takes time to learn your body, and during that learning time you will probably want to be more conservative with your times of intimacy. However, ask any couple practicing NFP and they will let you know that they didn't have to give up their sex lives to do it.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br /><br /><b>5) NFP doesn't actually work</b></span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br />This one is rather disheartening. When practiced correctly, NFP methods are between 94-99% effective. Those numbers are right on course with any artificial birth control. So why do people keep spreading rumors that NFP doesn't work?</span><br />
<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br />This rumor most often seems based on the lack of belief in one's ability to practice self-control. Natural Family Planning does not offer the convenience of having sex whenever, and for that reason some people scoff at the idea of it actually working. However, it is effective in pregnancy prevention, and it has the added awesomeness of making us more knowledgeable in the how's and why's of our workings of our bodies. </span>Shae O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02742929747644961842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2909535835207205147.post-42380106275802028442014-07-19T23:06:00.000-07:002014-07-20T21:07:07.482-07:00Why We Use Natural Family Planning: Women Speak Up About an Alternativeto Birth Control <span style="font-size: large;">If you have spent anytime on the internet in the last month, then the words BIRTH CONTROL have come across your screen at least a dozen times. On a list of hot topics, women's rights are definitely skyrocketing to the top of the list! As a woman, I am proud and excited to be a part of a generation that is speaking up about equality and rights in a society where we have struggled to be seen as equals for centuries. That being said, there is a large group of women that practices an alternative form of birth control that is rarely mentioned in these discussions. (In the U.S., this pregnancy prevention method is often NOT covered by insurance and is not advocated for under the new Contraception Mandate.)</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-size: large;"> This week, July 20th-26th, is National Natural Family Planning (NFP) Awareness Week. This alternative, completely natural form of birth control is used by women of all faiths, races, health struggles, and relationship statuses. However, it is still mentioned at a whisper in the world of contraceptive rights. So, I asked women across the world to take a picture of themselves giving their reasons for using NFP. Here are some of the responses I received...</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">1) Because it is all natural!</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">2) Because femininity is not a condition to be treated.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">3) Because it helps women understand their bodies and how they can work to prevent or achieve pregnancy as their needs and desires change.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">4) Because it can help women and their doctors determine medical issues and work to solve them.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">5) Because birth control didn't work for them.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">6) Because it is one of the only forms of birth control that is considered the man's responsibility too. (Safe sex is not just a woman's responsibility!)</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">7) Because it aligns with their morals or religious beliefs.</span></b><br />
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<b><br /></b><b><span style="font-size: large;">8) Because it allows couples to plan for the family they want, whether big or small.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">9) Because it is inexpensive and user friendly.</span></b><br />
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<b><span style="font-size: large;">Wanna know more about NFP? Comment below with any questions and I will try to answer them as a part of National NFP Awareness Week. Thank you to all the incredible women (and men) who participated in this post! God bless you.</span></b><br />
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Shae O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02742929747644961842noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2909535835207205147.post-23751820122060169762014-07-11T13:13:00.002-07:002014-07-11T17:27:36.046-07:005 Things Toddlers do that Lead to a Better LifeAs a mother of three, I have experienced a lot of those unbelievably funny, gross, frustrating and overwhelming moments in life. I've had those days when I wonder what I was thinking. But I have begun to realize that my children have a LOT to teach me. The thing is, since having children my life has been filled with more joy, laughter, and love than ever before. (Don't worry, this is NOT a post about how people with kids have fuller lives than those who don't.) It just got me thinking, how has acting more like my children changed my life for the better? Well, here are five of the things that have changed my life--and maybe they could do the same for you!<div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-WzXYKGkbQy0/U8CA9bFZZPI/AAAAAAAAARs/q18Z8FML8Rw/s640/blogger-image--868161786.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-WzXYKGkbQy0/U8CA9bFZZPI/AAAAAAAAARs/q18Z8FML8Rw/s640/blogger-image--868161786.jpg"></a></div><br>
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1)<b> Laugh when they fall down. </b>This is one of my daughters' favorite games. Yes, I said game. They fall down, laugh hysterically, and get back up again--only to fall down in laughter! This is the complete opposite of an adult's normal reaction to a fall. We adults tend to react to our trips and stumbles with tears and self-loathing and maybe even a ton of binging on wine and chocolate (not that I would know anything about it). Yet as a parent, I have found that the bigger of a deal I make a fall, the harder my daughters will take it. If I laugh it off, so do they! And you know what? Most falls in life really aren't as bad as we adults make them out to be. Laughing more and self-loathing less....the affect is instant and priceless!<br>
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2) <b> Announce when they poop.</b> Oh, I don't mean calmly and privately letting me know so I can assist them with wiping. I mean running into the living room, undies in hands, and screaming with pride, "I made a big poopy!" Oh yes. This happens. And why not? We all poop. And to be honest, I can't tell you the number of times I've had a particularly wonderful #2 experience and felt weird wishing I had someone to tell. The truth is, we have been taught to feel shame for a bodily function we ALL experience. By letting go of shame over a ridiculously normal act, we can learn to let go of shame for other things too...think periods, farts, snorting laughs, love of Lady Gaga--whatever happens to be on your blushing list.<br>
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3) <b>Applaud everything! </b>And I do mean everything. Every song, every twirl, every pouring of a cup of tea or pretending to be a horse. They applaud themselves. They applaud me. It may be something I have done a million times, but to them it is a task I should be proud of--even if it is loading the dishwasher or mooing like a cow. So why don't we adults applaud ourselves--and each other--more? Could you imagine the change in your attitude if you received cheers every time you turned in a report or folded a load of laundry? What if we said a (sincere, excited, high energy) thank you and congratulations every time someone we love did something positive? How quickly would we change the course of our lives, and the lives of those around us?<br>
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4<b>) Cheer and give hugs every time they see me.</b> This is may favorite part of every day. I open the front door, peek around the corner, and witness the pure joy of my daughters running to greet me, screaming "Mama!" with arms wide open. I know there will come a day when this does not happen. Every time it does, I hug them tightly and promise God not to forget this feeling ever. Yet, when we see those we love, we often take for granted their presence. We may see them everyday. We may have known they were on their way. Yet, I have known far too many people who had plans to see someone...that never arrived. Let's not take our loved ones for granted. Let's exclaim how much we missed them, how incredible they are, how much they mean to us. Don't leave any words unspoken or hugs left in empty arms.<br>
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5) <b>Say no. </b>Ok, so I admit that this one is not often something I enjoy my daughters doing. When they don't want to, when they don't like it, when they think it's not fair or ok, the no's start coming out loud and clear! And while this isn't always the best thing for me (believe me, nap time was a struggle today), I have learned how easy--and important--it is to say no. How often do you say no to something you don't want to do? How often do you say no to something that feels wrong or not for you? Society teaches us to be agreeable, pleasing to others, appropriate in situations. Does that mean we should disregard our own feelings for everyone else's? Maybe it's time for us to admit when we need to say no, and stand up for our needs by stepping away when we need to.<br>
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There you go! Just five things my daughters have taught me to make my life a better one. I hope my sharing their little toddler wisdom can help you make your life a little better also. After all, who has time to live a life that doesn't make them happy? God bless.</div>Shae O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02742929747644961842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2909535835207205147.post-32108994842067376002014-07-07T20:17:00.001-07:002014-07-08T06:33:37.485-07:00Birth control, Hobby Lobby, and this Catholic mamaSome days I feel conflicted within myself. As though, my faith and my gender are in constant battle. Last week, after the decision regarding Hobby Lobby's birth control exemption, I had a hard time trying to decide which part of me I should be fighting for, and which side I seemed (by default) to be fighting against. <div><br></div><div>The truth is that if you ask most Carholic women if they see a problem following their faith as a female, they would undoubtedly say no. Most of us do not feel oppressed by our Church. We do not see the beliefs of our religion as a design to keep ladies in the kitchen. We do not live life with an attitude of being less than men. </div><div><br></div><div>On the contrary, you will not find another sect of Christianity that honors women more. We have full prayers and practices devoted not to Jesus, but to his mother. We recognize that the first truly spotless soul was Mary's. We hold her in the highest regard, while most denominations may go weeks or months (maybe years?) without mentioning her name. </div><div><br></div><div>Oh, but that is just one woman...what about every woman? What about our rights? The truth is, we fully believe in a woman's right to plan out her family. We encourage women to be educated and in control of themselves and their fertility. We simply don't believe that requires any kind of pharmaceutical assistance. We believe that just because something can be done doesn't mean it should be done. </div><div><br></div><div>So, where does that leave me, in this post? While I hold true to my faith and stand strong in my beliefs, I still felt torn by the Hobby Lobby case. I understood why they would be against emergency contraception (a huge myth is that they were against all birth control, though that is not the case). Yet, I struggled with the idea of a government that allowed one person's religious beliefs (even beliefs I may agree with) to make decisions for someone else's life. </div><div><br></div><div>When I find myself in battles of conscious, I often end up on Facebook. That statement may make you laugh, but I can honestly say that I have been informed, enlightened, and convicted almost every day on social media. (If you don't feel the same, then maybe you aren't following the right people). As it turns out, this week was no exception. I read posts from Catholics, Protestants, Atheists, Buddhists, and many whose faith may not be defined by one simple title. I read comments and memes and jokes and prayers. Some caused me to laugh, some caused me to cry, many caused me to think...and finally now, they have helped me to write this post. I wanted to share a few with you, so you could see some of what I encountered. </div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-wQIc6ILmzPU/U7ti3APfL-I/AAAAAAAAARU/6Uaco3eXyIQ/s640/blogger-image-824193478.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-wQIc6ILmzPU/U7ti3APfL-I/AAAAAAAAARU/6Uaco3eXyIQ/s640/blogger-image-824193478.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div>This meme was posted on a Catholic group for mothers. It immediately struck me as offensive, even as a woman who does not use artificial birth control. Is it fair to assume that a woman who uses birth control is using it solely (if at all) to prevent pregnancy? Is it fair to assume that a woman who uses birth control is so premiscuous she cannot keep her clothes on? Is it fair to assume that a woman who uses birth control has less morals or dresses in an immodest manner? </div><div><br></div><div>When I tried to suggest that this meme was unfair and offensive, my comment was met with responses that it was just a joke and a way for "like-minded" people to have a laugh during a trying situation. I was appalled that members of my faith found such a crud joke to be humorous and worth sharing. </div><div><br></div><div>But it got me thinking: Whose job should it be to judge whether or not someone needs birth control? By giving employers a say in what people (not just women, but obviously women in this case) need or don't need in their insurance plan, doesn't it give license for anyone to judge --regardless of their background, education, or profession? Why are we allowing anyone other than doctors to make these judgment calls, and what kind of people are we becoming because we feel entitled to a say in a stranger's medical wants or needs?</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-rNjgKnQrSn4/U7ti4D59cAI/AAAAAAAAARY/-hPH5X3y8-4/s640/blogger-image--78367783.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-rNjgKnQrSn4/U7ti4D59cAI/AAAAAAAAARY/-hPH5X3y8-4/s640/blogger-image--78367783.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">This meme was also found on a Catholic Facebook group. I immediately agreed with its message. Yes! Pay for it yourself! Your choice to use it. Your money to buy it. I can then wash my hands of you like Pilot. Sounds fair, right?</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">But then I read this post, from a friend who stated he would be unfriending anyone who supported Hobby Lobby. I hadn't expected to be his friend at the end of the day. However, he continued to try to express the reasoning behind his anger, and I am grateful he did...</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-MyC8BKdl38Y/U7ti2Cf7IeI/AAAAAAAAARM/UhbrH6QYgAU/s640/blogger-image--2116116643.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-MyC8BKdl38Y/U7ti2Cf7IeI/AAAAAAAAARM/UhbrH6QYgAU/s640/blogger-image--2116116643.jpg"></a></div><br></div>Your choice to use it. Your money to buy it...that is what I'd said, right? I felt like a light bulb had clicked on in my conscience! THIS is why I felt conflicted! Not because I didn't agree with Hobby Lobby's belief. Because they were telling their employees how to spend the money THEY had earned. They earn their insurance. It isn't a gift from their employer, it's a part of their wages. If they didn't work the right number of hours, they wouldn't get it--because they earn this part of their compensation by working for it! </div><div><br></div><div>Somehow this series of posts led me to the conclusion that the Supreme Court made the wrong decision. Hobby Lobby doesn't have the right to dictate to its employees that they cannot eat McDonalds for dinner because the company believes they should eat better. Hobby Lobby can't tell its employees to cancel cable and buy more novels because the company believes they should read more. Hobby Lobby will never set aside 10% of its employees' paychecks to give to the starving children you see on tv because the company believes we should do more for third world countries. <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Why not? It's not the company's money--it's the employee's!</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">So, through all of this, I've come to the following conclusions:</font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">1) It is time for religious people to stop speaking up about their faith only when it is a political hot topic. If you are speaking up to evangelize for your faith, you're not going to gain fans by suggesting your poor multimillion dollar religious organization is being bullied by a government that was founded on freedom to choose one's religion. If you are speaking up to defend your beliefs, consider whether or not you are doing so in a way that is reflective of your faith and your God's attitude toward His children. </font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">2) If the government wants to avoid the "slippery slope" of business and religion, perhaps it is time to take health insurance out of employers' hands all together and offer a truly universal healthcare system. OR Perhaps it would also work to let employers choose whatever insurance plan they like, but an employee should have the right to opt out if there is a government plan they would prefer to better suit their wants or needs. </font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">3) It is integral for me, as a Catholic, not to mistake my right to believe and practice my faith for the right to use my faith in an oppressive manner over those who disagree with me. Whether this be in my role as a teacher, my voting in our government, or my words and actions in everyday life. My faith is something I should want to offer others as a gift, not use to abuse or demean them as a weapon of hate. This week opened my eyes wide to the slippery slope of our religious beliefs, and how they easily slide us into roles that serve the one we weekly pray for protection against. Let us be an instrument of peace, a vessel of love, and a defender of freedom to choose...and may we pray that our actions and words influence choices of love, as we would want others to do for us. </font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">ETA: Third paragraph under 1st meme. </font></div>Shae O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02742929747644961842noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2909535835207205147.post-74532694391847562562014-06-05T13:34:00.002-07:002014-06-05T13:35:38.910-07:00Godparent's DayGodparent's Day is an unsung day of celebration that takes place on the first Sunday of June. Do you have godparents that deserve special recognition today? Feel free to share this poem via email, facebook, or pinterest to let them know their love and devotion in your child's spiritual life is appreciated and admired. <br />
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If you are a godparent, I would just like to say thank you for taking the time and the care to guide our young children into the faith and love of God. It is a calling like no other, and I will continue to pray for you as you serve in this role. God bless you.<br />
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Shae O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02742929747644961842noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2909535835207205147.post-80020120148598483802014-06-05T08:51:00.000-07:002014-06-05T08:52:08.103-07:00So, you need to choose Godparents?The tradition of godparents dates back to 2nd century CE, when Christianity decided to baptize infants and required an adult to stand in for the confession of faith. It only made sense that if a person was willing to bet their soul on a child's future faith, then they should spend their lives assisting the child in the development and understanding of that faith. <br />
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Today, godparents are seen from both a secular and spiritual standpoint. No matter a parent's faith, they may choose a "godparent" to hold responsibility for a child in case the parent no longer can. However, in the Catholic faith, a godparent is much more than a back-up guardian over a child. The godparent role is taken very seriously and is expected to carry the weight of spiritual growth for their godchild throughout the young one's life. This role is designed to provide spiritual support in addition to your own parental guidance. It is a lifetime commitment, and an eternal gift.<br />
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<strong>Who can be a godparent?</strong><br />
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With such a sacred view of this role comes high expectations for the godparent: <br />
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<li><strong>At least one godparent should be Catholic.</strong> While it is understandable that non-Catholic believers may also make wonderful examples of faith to your child, there are certain beliefs and practices specific to Catholicism that should be properly addressed by the Godparent. Therefore, you may have two godparents, one of which may be Catholic and the other (if you choose) would be considered a "Christian Witness".</li>
<li><strong>If the godparents are married, it must be within the Church.</strong> No, I do not mean any church. Just as described in the first expectation, it is important that godparents serve as an example through their own lives. The sacrament of marriage is a very important practice of the Catholic faith and must be upheld by those taking on this charge.</li>
<li><strong>Godparents must be at least 16 years old.</strong> This makes sense considering the role of the godparent is to guide your child in their growing faith, and children below the age of 16 may not have completed their own faith education and confirmation yet.</li>
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This being said, every parish has their own expectations for godparents, and it is important that you discuss your choices with your priest or deacon. <br />
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<strong>So, who do I choose?</strong><br />
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Good question. I have three children, two of which are baptized. (My little Cassidy will need godparents soon!) I will admit it, choosing godparents was not an easy task. Some people suggest it should be family, others suggest it should not, and regardless of suggestions, some people just don't have a large Catholic pool of loved ones to choose from! <br />
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Our first daughter's godparents are my husband's uncle and his wife. They are two very beautiful, devoted, and loving Catholics whom I have learned very much from in my own faith. We knew they would be godparents we would stay close with throughout our daughter's life. This was very important to us.<br />
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Our second daughter's godparents are a friend of mine from our parish and her husband. She is a very devout Catholic, volunteers at our church through various groups, and her husband (while not Catholic himself) attends church with her and is a wonderful example of love and acceptance. I met her through a church retreat, and as we discussed children (she confessed she and her husband could not have any for certain medical reasons) I felt strongly in my heart that her faith and love would serve as a perfect example for a child someday...I found out a week after that retreat that I was pregnant, and she graciously accepted the role when asked.<br />
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Now, here we are again (and so soon!). If you are in the same boat, and trying to decide how to go about finding godparents for your child, here are some possibilities to assist you:<br />
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<li><strong>Check your Family Tree!</strong> If you have Catholics in your family, take time to discern if they would serve a positive double role in your child's life as godparents.</li>
<li><strong>Check your phone contacts!</strong> Chances are, you know Catholics even if you don't know them through your church. Always take the time to learn about the faith of your friends, as they may be the perfect choice for your child!</li>
<li><strong>Check your bulletin!</strong> No, they don't put ads for godparents in church bulletins....yet. But if you are one of those shy people (like me!) who has had a hard time making friends in your parish, or if you are new (or renew) to the faith, look for retreats for church groups you can join to get to know your fellow parishioners better. God may just send His choice your way.</li>
<li><strong>Check your priest!</strong> It always seems to hold true that no one know the flock better than the shepherd. Ask your priest for suggestions, and he may know some wonderful people for you to consider.</li>
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As you are praying, discerning, and choosing who your child's godparents will be, know that I am praying for you and with you. This is the first spiritual responsibility you will decide for your child, and I know it can feel daunting. Take this as an opportunity to get to know your parish, to grow in your faith, and trust in God to provide the perfect people to serve this role in your child's life.<br />
<br />Shae O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02742929747644961842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2909535835207205147.post-52847217217719746692014-06-04T08:58:00.001-07:002014-06-04T10:47:37.201-07:00The Breastfeeding Mother and the Public EyeI would like for you to imagine, if you will, Eve. She is admiring the garden around her, the literal fruit of God's creation. Though she probably has not thought to consider, she as well serves as a miraculous example of God's creation. The human body. She has been designed by God to take in seed, to bear fruit, and to nourish and care for that fruit. Scientists in centuries to come will admire the design and capabilities of the human body with a reverence, the same reverence Eve has in this moment for God. This is because we truly are God's incredible creation.<br />
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Now I would like you to imagine Mary, Joseph, and their new son in the manger. Her son begins to cry (which I can only imagine to be the most beautiful and heart wrenching cry the world would ever hear), and Joseph immediately responds with a protective yet gentle hand, cradling Jesus in his arms to bring him to Mary, who is still recovering in a makeshift bed of hay. She instinctively makes little sounds of reassurance as she opens her dress to place Jesus at an already leaking breast. He, the Son of God, has found nourishment and comfort in the fruit of God's creation.<br />
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If you would, just one more time, now imagine a young mother who has come to mass for the first time with her newborn. She has not been to church before, but somehow taking part in the miraculous creation and birth of this tiny little human being has inspired a new spark of reverence and curiosity in her spiritual life. As she hesitantly takes her seat in the pew, and the service begins, her tiny blessing begins to cry. She realizes what her child wants, but cringes at what she will now have to do in a room full of strangers and priest and God. Nonetheless, she discreetly tries to pull her shirt down and slip her breast out while quickly trying to get her infant to latch properly on her overly-sensitive, cracked, engorged breast. The physical discomfort is immediate, but it is nothing compared to the anxiety she feels in her pounding chest at all the eyes around her. Now imagine you are sitting next to her in that pew. What face are you making? What words do you say? What thoughts go through your mind?<br />
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In today's society, the human body is no longer viewed by most as the fruit-bearing creation of God that it once was. With a wide array of magazines, movies, commercials, advertisements, and more displaying the human body as a commodity to be purchased, a perfection to be attained, or a desire to be devoured, it is no surprise that we have a hard time refreshing our minds and spirits to the pure and true purpose of the human body. Sadly, the result of this societal conditioning is that mothers are now expected to abide by the sexualized standards of society and are ridiculed or judged by others for providing the nourishment and care that God created their bodies to provide. Though laws have been put in place to protect a breastfeeding mother's right to feed her child in public (<a href="http://breastfeedinglaw.com/state-laws/">http://breastfeedinglaw.com/state-laws/</a>), the law does not protect a mother's spirit from the judgment and condemnation of the public.<br />
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I believe the most important stance we can take as a community is one of understanding and support. Can the sight of a mother breastfeeding in public make one uncomfortable? Yes. It would be naive to assume that people will suddenly forget the societal conditioning they were raised on in our country. However, is that the mother's issue to address? Not at all. We should all respect and appreciate that the mother's role is to care for her child as God intended, and her focus should solely be on that proper care--not on the bystanders around her. <br />
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What is the best way to do that? Well, simply put, the best way for us to support breastfeeding mothers is to NOT do anything. What I mean by that is, we should NOT make any kind of facial expression/sound/gesture when they attempt to feed. We should NOT advise the mother on how to breastfeed (whether by covering up, going to the bathroom, etc.). We should NOT judge a mother's integrity or manners based on her need to breastfeed in public. This last one is important. The largest complaint I receive from the community is how the mother is not being "considerate" of those around her when she breastfeeds/breastfeeds in public/breastfeeds uncovered/etc. Please be mindful that the most considerate thing a mother can do is breastfeed her child. That very act shows unconditional love and consideration for her child, regardless of her personal feelings of embarrassment, shame, or concern. Also, when a mother breastfeeds her child in public, she is being considerate of those around her by stopping her child from screaming and crying in public. It is very important to remember that our own discomfort does not always equal some wrong-doing on the part of someone else.<strong> I do not experience discomfort because a breastfeeding mother is present. I experience discomfort because society has conditioned my mind to view breasts as sexual objects instead of a source of nourishment.</strong> <br />
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As a community, especially as a spiritual family, it is integral that we uplift, encourage, and support healthy and positive behavior. A mother breastfeeding her child is the personification of health, and she is merely using the human body as God designed it to be used. If you need an example of the kind of attitude to have toward breastfeeding, here is a quote from Pope Francis himself:<br />
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Please feel free to share this post with anyone you believe may benefit, both community members and mothers alike. If you are a mother, please know you are loved and supported within the Catholic community, and we are thankful for the unconditional love and nourishment you provide your child, in whatever way you are able to do so. God bless you.Shae O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02742929747644961842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2909535835207205147.post-50535020192849226322014-06-04T07:13:00.001-07:002014-06-04T07:13:04.208-07:00Support for Breastfeeding Mothers by our Pope!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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God bless you!Shae O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02742929747644961842noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2909535835207205147.post-78734805584195721792014-06-03T07:14:00.002-07:002014-06-03T07:17:36.143-07:00Open to Life: The Beauty of NFP<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I knew enough about Natural Family Planning to know my period should have come two days before. I told my husband I was going to buy a pregnancy test, and he thought I was overreacting but succumbed to my insistence. I hustled straight to the bathroom when I got home, with my toddler on my heels and my six month old fussing for my immediate attention. I didn't bother to close the door--if you're a mother you understand--and peed on the stick as my husband told me about his day. As I went to place it on the counter to wait my obligatory three minutes, I glanced down and gasped! The line had already begun to appear.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">My husband tried to console me as I cried....they were not happy tears. My children were still whining for my attention, and all I could think about was giving it all up--my body, my sanity, my desires, my life--for a child we were not <em>trying</em> to have. We had taken a "risk" one night, and apparently one risk was all it took. As I sat there wondering why Catholics couldn't just support birth control, my husband asked me, "Aren't you even a little happy? God must really want this child!"</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I was not happy.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Fast forward 11 months: Here I am, with an absolutely perfect daughter named Cassidy. She is three months old, and her coos would melt your heart. She captures all my love and attention, in the same way as my first two daughters, and she fits just right into the family God has created us to be. Just like puzzle pieces, we all complete a picture of miraculous design...one I could not have imagined, yet one I am grateful to be a part of.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I could not be happier.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">It was not until Cassidy that I truly understood the Catholic belief of being "open to life". I practiced NFP the same way others play video games, to test my skills, prove my knowledge, and try to show off my ability to take charge. Except I never understood that the true purpose of NFP was to offer myself to God's charge. While it is our responsibility as parents to take care to provide a safe, healthy, and loving home for our family, it is our vocation as a married couple to offer ourselves to God's plan for our future. My husband said it best that day as I cried: "God must really want this child!" Who am I to say no to such an incredible gift?</span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #444444; font-family: Times;">The purpose of being "open to life" is to be open to the possibility. Even if we are not seeking out another child, it is important that we let go and let God decide, offer our lives and our hearts to the future of our family, and be willing to welcome with joy any blessing God sends our way. I cried when I first found out about Cassidy. I didn't understand then that happiness was a part of the bargain. Now I think back and ask forgiveness for ever letting my daughter feel sadness within me at the thought of her existence. She had done nothing to deserve such disappointment from me (and if you ever met her, you'd know no one could be sad in her presence!). Wasn't the point of practicing NFP to invite God to take control and open my heart to the blessings He offers? I understand now that is exactly the point. I am so thankful to Cassidy for teaching me this lesson, and I hope to instill the same understanding in my own children some day.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Before the end of World Youth Day in October of 2013, Pope Francis made a statement to the volunteers which included the following excerpt:</span></span><br />
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</span><em style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 24px;"><span style="background-color: #cfe2f3; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I ask you, instead, to be revolutionaries, I ask you to swim against the tide; yes, I am asking you to rebel against this culture that sees everything as temporary and that ultimately believes you are incapable of responsibility - that believes you are incapable of true love. I have confidence in you and I pray for you. Have the courage to swim against the tide. And also have the courage to be happy.</span></em></span><br />
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<span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 24px;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Being open to life, within our family, within myself, is a vocation I may not have fully understood when I made my original vows to my husband and to God, but it is a vocation I readily accept now. This is the beauty I have found in Natural Family Planning--the beauty of taking responsibility for our decisions and our family while still allowing God to be in charge of the direction of the path we are walking together in this life. Who am I to say no to such an incredible gift? Instead, I humbly pray for the courage to be happy with every gift God bestows. Lord, hear my prayer.</span></span></span></span>Shae O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02742929747644961842noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2909535835207205147.post-83823443047898328632014-06-02T09:36:00.001-07:002014-06-02T18:55:54.940-07:00Why I Don't Believe in the Cry RoomThere seems to be a contradiction between the reverent piety of mass and the bubbly spontaneity of little children. As a Catholic mama of three children under three years old, I often sympathize with other Catholic families that feel hesitation and sometimes embarrassment when sitting in the pew on Sunday, trying to be faithful to God and considerate of other parishioners, while also trying to control my little ones and make weekly mass a positive habit. <br>
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This struggle within the religious community was met at some point with the creation of a place called a "Cry Room". (If you go to the beautiful Cathedrals of Europe, you'll notice Cry Rooms did not exist back then.) The idea of the Cry Room was a simple one: give families a place to be a part of the worship service while not disturbing the service itself. What we have seen in the evolution of the Cry Room is that it is often viewed as a permanent seat for families with small children, as opposed to a temporary place to address a little one's cries or behavior before returning to the mass. <br>
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The problem that arises from this "solution" is that families now either walk straight to the Cry Room for mass without the intention of joining the congregation or are pressured by fellow parishioners (or even the priest) to use the Cry Room for permanent seating. Why is this an issue? Well, in order to answer that, we must consider the design and practice of our Catholic mass. <br>
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<strong>Why don't we have Sunday School?</strong><br>
We make a point as Catholics to ask families to attend mass together. We do not send our children to another room to be educated in the Church, as we have separate classes for that purpose. Sunday is a day of celebration, to join together as one body and receive the Eucharist of our Lord. By bringing our children into the fold, we teach them by example how to behave, how to believe, and how to love. It is one of my favorite practices in our faith.<br>
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<strong>So how does this compare with a Cry Room?</strong><br>
When used effectively, a Cry Room can be a temporary place to address a child privately without disrupting the service. However, when families spend their entire mass in the Cry Room, it teaches a very different lesson by example. How a child behaves in a Cry Room is often not nearly as controlled, since they are no longer disrupting the service, and they often learn from other children a very different idea of proper behavior during mass. How a child believes is often not addressed much at all, seeing as they are not expected to follow along during the service with as much focus as they would while sitting in the pew. (For example, there are some Cry Rooms with books and toys to distract children.) How a child loves themselves, their family, their community, and their God is less of a focus when they are unable to see how their behavior affects those around them, and how they are loved is often recognized as "conditionally" since they are only welcome when quiet. <br>
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I would like to be clear that I understand and appreciate that not all Cry Rooms are used this way or fit this description. I am not seeking to generalize all parishes. Rather, I am writing this post to bring to light a concern that is affecting many young families within the Catholic Church, and I do think it is important for all of us as a community to support and uplift these families by welcoming them--not alienating them. So how do we do that?<br>
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<strong>Speak words of welcome!</strong><br>
The easiest way to let families know they are welcome with the main congregation is by telling them! Greet them when they arrive. Let them know how happy you are to see them. Stranger or friend, words of kindness are always appreciated to help us feel like a part of the Body.<br>
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<strong>Smile at the little ones!</strong><br>
It sounds so simple, doesn't it? I can't tell you how many times a smile, wave, or giggle from a fellow parishioner has kept my little ones distracted and content during mass. Seeing my community react positively toward my children also has spoken volumes to me about how my family is viewed in the Church--as a blessing and not a burden.<br>
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<strong>Encourage parents during challenging services!</strong><br>
Some days when my daughters are....less than their best, behavior-wise, I have second guessed my weekly struggle to keep my children in the main sanctuary. It is during those moments that I have been brought to tears by a simple "Little ones have so much energy, don't they? Keep up the good work, mom!" It means more than you can possibly imagine to receive affirmation by the congregation that we are doing the right thing by immersing our little ones in their faith from the very beginning. <br>
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So, if you are a family with young children, please do not hesitate to make your family part of our collective Family! We are so excited to be able to share in the formation of your family's faith and are filled with joy to welcome your little ones just as our Lord taught us to do. Your continued practice of the faith ensure the future of our congregation, and we are blessed to have you here.<br>
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If you are a fellow parishioner, thank you for taking the time to read this and consider how you can serve the families in your church as they learn how to navigate the often rough and spontaneous waters of spiritual parenting. I hope you will share this post with others, and remember to say welcome to the families you see next Sunday!Shae O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02742929747644961842noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2909535835207205147.post-82878170304274359182014-05-20T11:59:00.001-07:002014-05-20T12:03:42.718-07:00The Unexpected LoveA friend asked the other day what kind of gift you give to a couple that wasn't exactly...expecting another child. My heart went out for her expecting friend. As a Catholic, it can be difficult to trust in God fully when you realize that His plans and yours don't seem to be matching up. I suggested a gift of reminder, to help them realize the gift God must see them as to offer them as parents to such a precious little soul. Do you know anyone who could use this poem? Feel free to frame it as a gift, share it on your newsfeed, or even read it to yourself to remember why God has given such a gift to such a beautiful person. <div><br></div><div><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;"><u>Little Love Waiting</u></p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">The day my Father chose me</p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">I giggled with delight!</p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">"Your family will be loving,</p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">They'll be warm and filled with light."</p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;"><br></p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">I smiled and I laughed.</p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">I wondered how I'd feel</p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">Cuddled right next to your heart,</p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">Oh to know your love was real!</p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;"><br></p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">Then my Father came in closer</p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">Whispered softly in my ear,</p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">"One more thing though, it's a secret</p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">They don't know yet you'll be here."</p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;"><br></p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">"Why not tell them that I'm coming?"</p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">I asked gently with concern. </p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">Then He answered like a teacher,</p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">"There is something they will learn.</p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 15px;"><br></p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">Learn to trust Me, learn of faith,</p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">That I am still in control,</p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">And that I'll be with them and with you.</p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">That always is My goal."</p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica; min-height: 15px;"><br></p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">So I'm growing now and waiting</p>
<p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">For a chance to see your face</p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">As the parents God chose for me</p><p style="margin: 0px; font-size: 12px; font-family: Helvetica;">In His ever present grace. </p></div>Shae O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02742929747644961842noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2909535835207205147.post-41273202702318537232014-05-03T09:44:00.001-07:002014-05-03T12:30:23.526-07:00Mother's Day Craft 2014You know those mothers who are creative and artistic and raise children that make no messes ever? You know, the ones that invent the pins on Pinterest everyone else tries to imitate (to no avail)?<div><br></div><div>Yeah. That's not me. </div><div><br></div><div>I'm the mother who works a full time job, but still has the audacity to have a "Catholic-sized" family. So, with three beautiful daughters under three years old, I have spent all my precious mental energy coming up with quick, easy crafts for holiday gifts!</div><div><br></div><div>This one is for Mother's Day. </div><div><br></div><div>Here's the thing. I refuse to use paint because I don't have the time or energy to bathe my three daughters, the dog, the dining room table, and the carpet for the next six hours. BUT I love handprints! Such a precious way to remember the size of our little blessings, right? Below is my Mother's Day Craft for 2014:</div><div><br></div><div>Needed:</div><div>-crayons</div><div>-construction paper</div><div>-scissors</div><div>-pencil</div><div><br></div><div><b>Step 1--Handprints</b></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">Stencil your child(ren)'s handprint on a piece of construction paper with pencil. Use scissors to cut out handprint. Take care to keep the stencil in tact for the rest of the craft. </font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">*Note: If you have an infant, wait until they are sleeping to stencil their hand. It will be relaxed and there will be much less squirming. </font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-cbYqnU7R8gs/U2Uc55gAIoI/AAAAAAAAAD0/tfhyOy-3Y9E/s640/blogger-image-1382116595.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-cbYqnU7R8gs/U2Uc55gAIoI/AAAAAAAAAD0/tfhyOy-3Y9E/s640/blogger-image-1382116595.jpg"></a></div><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><b>Step 2--Stem/Leaf</b></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">Draw and cut out stem/leaf on piece of construction paper. </font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-VjLQU6Z1C_o/U2Uc62tHI5I/AAAAAAAAAD8/GglROrvVpPU/s640/blogger-image--562049975.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-VjLQU6Z1C_o/U2Uc62tHI5I/AAAAAAAAAD8/GglROrvVpPU/s640/blogger-image--562049975.jpg"></a></div><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><b>Step 3--Flower!</b></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">Place stem/leaf stencil on background paper. Use green crayon to scribble design onto paper. </font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">Then place handprint stencil over background paper. Scribble the colored crayon of your choice over stencil to full in "flower". </font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-rDenLNVJ8kw/U2Uc7gH97uI/AAAAAAAAAEE/uPBZF4RPM5I/s640/blogger-image-291891320.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-rDenLNVJ8kw/U2Uc7gH97uI/AAAAAAAAAEE/uPBZF4RPM5I/s640/blogger-image-291891320.jpg"></a></div><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><b>Step 4--Sign card!</b></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">Use black crayon to write name along the stem and "Happy Mother's Day" with the year at the top. </font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">Easy peasy! Less clean up, still framable, and a keepsake to ooh and ahh over for generations! </font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-hxsC7AGIQGg/U2VDMKN7jxI/AAAAAAAAAEg/jTy4g5CJrCM/s640/blogger-image--1478801756.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-hxsC7AGIQGg/U2VDMKN7jxI/AAAAAAAAAEg/jTy4g5CJrCM/s640/blogger-image--1478801756.jpg"></a></div><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-3azBdvJPGRk/U2VDNMVoo6I/AAAAAAAAAEo/oXbi928bSKM/s640/blogger-image-198395276.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-3azBdvJPGRk/U2VDNMVoo6I/AAAAAAAAAEo/oXbi928bSKM/s640/blogger-image-198395276.jpg"></a></div><br></div><br></font></div>Shae O'Brienhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02742929747644961842noreply@blogger.com0